SANTA MADE ME DO IT

I’ve been bugging my friends, single or married it didn’t matter, for years about how we, as a culture, deal with Christmas and Santa Claus. The whole idea that a parent could look their child in the eyes, stone-faced and sincere, knowing full well that the child was pretty certain that it was them that was Santa Claus, and then flat out lie, amazes me. Keep in mind, of course, that Christmas is usually the child’s first major event, first major lie, and the first time they’ve been told that lying is how we do things (remember, children take your actions as the way things are.) Why don’t we just hold up a big sign that says “I’m going to tell you not to lie, but lie to you.” And to make it worse we’re lying about the funnest thing in their life! And we try to lie so nicely!! But even more, what really blows me away, is that we’re so taken aback, pissed, dejected, mad, when five years later this once happy-go lucky, smart, easy going kid has hidden their progress report, has been lying about getting their homework done, eating their veggies and cleaning their room. And they were so sincere when they lied!

So I want to get serious about this with my son. He has got to learn these lessons…

His schooling is his future. Lying to your parents is a lonely dead-end street. Lying by itself is a tangled web of "What did I say?", "How much do they know?", "Will it work if I say this?" "Do they know?"

I want to change his lackadaisical attitude about lying. I want to sit him down and get his attention. Strangely, I want to push lying right out of him. Discipline it right away. I want to leave him thinking about this for a long time, but I’m afraid that he’ll then take things too seriously. I’m afraid that he’ll become too vulnerable by being too honest. I’m afraid I’ll be too tough on him and create distance. I’m afraid I might take his smile away. But maybe I’m most afraid that he’ll look back at me one day, and in his lovely innocent self, say “But dad, that’s how everyone does it.” But what I hear is “Santa made me do it.”